I Am Anxious and Don’t Know What to Do
Feeling anxious can be incredibly frustrating — especially for men. Many of us are taught to “get on with it,” stay busy, or just toughen up. But when anxiety hits, it doesn’t care how strong you are, how much you’ve achieved, or how hard you work. It shows up in your chest, your breathing, your thoughts, and your sleep. And when you’re in the middle of it, it can feel impossible to know what to do next.
If you’re reading this because you’re anxious right now, or because you keep getting waves of it and don’t understand why — you’re not alone. And there are things you can do that help.
Below are some simple, practical steps that many men find useful when anxiety takes over.
1. Start With One Breath
When anxiety spikes, the body reacts long before the mind catches up. Your nervous system goes into overdrive, and everything feels urgent. A simple way to interrupt this is with one slow breath:
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 2
Exhale for 6
You don’t need to “feel calm” instantly. You just need to interrupt the spiral long enough to think again.
2. Don’t Try to Out-Think Anxiety
Many men tell me, “I’ve tried to think my way out of it.”
But anxiety doesn’t respond to logic — it responds to threat.
If your body thinks something is wrong, your thoughts will follow. Trying to reason with anxiety often makes it louder.
Focus on what you can control in the moment:
Your breathing
Your pace
Your surroundings
Your next small action
Thinking clearly comes later.
3. Move Your Body, Even for a Few Minutes
Before becoming a therapist, I worked as a personal trainer — and I’ve seen first-hand how powerful movement can be.
When I feel stuck or overwhelmed, intense exercise often lifts the fog.
Not because it “fixes” anxiety, but because it gives your mind a break while your body uses up the energy that anxiety creates.
You don’t need a gym. Try:
A fast walk
20 push-ups
A short jog
A few minutes of bodyweight squats
Movement sends a signal to your brain: You’re safe. You’re in control.
4. Don’t Isolate Yourself
A common pattern for men is to withdraw when anxious.
You tell yourself you’re “sorting it out,” but really you’re stuck in your own head.
Reach out to someone — even briefly. You don’t need to share everything.
A simple message like, “Fancy a coffee later?” can break the isolation loop.
Connection doesn’t fix anxiety, but it stops it growing in the dark.
5. Reduce the Things That Make Anxiety Worse
When anxiety is high, certain habits pour petrol on the fire:
Drinking to “take the edge off”
Endless scrolling
Gaming until 2am
Porn as a distraction
Too much caffeine
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight — just pick one thing to reduce.
Small changes compound faster than you think.
6. Create One Simple Anchor in Your Day
Anxiety thrives in chaos.
One steady routine — even a tiny one — creates a sense of control.
Some ideas:
A consistent bedtime
A 10-minute walk every morning
Writing down your plan for the day
A short stretch routine
A few minutes of breathwork
An anchor reminds your brain that not everything is unpredictable.
7. If It’s Too Much, You Don’t Have to Handle It Alone
Sometimes anxiety doesn’t fade on its own.
Sometimes it’s tied to stress, pressure, old wounds, or things you’ve pushed down for years.
Talking to a professional doesn’t make you weak — it gives you space to understand what’s actually happening underneath.
At Strong Minds Counselling, I work with men who feel exactly like this:
Stuck in their own head
Exhausted from overthinking
Snappy, frustrated, or withdrawn
Unsure how to slow their mind down
Feeling like they “should” be coping better
If any of that sounds familiar, therapy can help you take control rather than letting anxiety run the show.
Final Thought
You’re not broken — you’re overwhelmed. And overwhelm is something you can learn to manage.
Anxiety doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t have to dictate your day.
Start small. Breathe. Move. Reach out. And when you’re ready, get support.
You’re allowed to ask for help and you don’t have to figure it all out alone.