What Are Men’s Groups, Really?

I often hear from men who sign up for a men’s group, feel a pull to join, and then… never turn up. It’s not laziness — it’s fear. Fear of the unknown, of being judged, of sitting in a circle with strangers and not knowing what’s expected. I get it. Most of us have been conditioned to keep things close to our chest, to deal with life privately. So the idea of a “men’s group” can sound uncomfortable or even a bit awkward.

But here’s the truth: men’s groups aren’t about sitting around crying into your coffee or being forced to “share your feelings” if you don’t want to. They’re about connection, understanding, and growth — three things that, deep down, most of us are missing.

So what actually happens in a men’s group?

A men’s group is simply a space where men come together to talk openly about what’s going on in their lives. That might include work stress, relationships, anger, isolation, confidence, or struggles with motivation. You don’t have to have a “big problem” to be there — many men join because they just want more meaning and direction.

Every group is different, but the common theme is honesty without judgement. It’s a chance to be real in a world that often tells men to stay quiet, keep it together, and never show weakness.

Sometimes there’s a structure — a check-in, a topic for discussion, maybe an exercise around mindset or behaviour change. Other times, it’s just conversation that flows naturally. Some groups have men from their 20s all the way through to their 60s, and it’s incredible to see how much wisdom and support gets shared across generations.

Why so many men don’t show up

Signing up is one thing. Turning up is another. The unknown is powerful — it triggers every self-protective instinct we’ve learned since childhood.

“What if I don’t fit in?”

“What if people think I’m weak?”

“What if I actually have to talk about things I’ve avoided for years?”

But here’s the thing: once men do show up, they almost always say the same thing after —

“I wish I’d done this sooner.”

The fear fades quickly when you realise everyone else in the room feels the same way. There’s no competition, no ego — just men being human, which is something we rarely get the space to do.

Some interesting things about men’s groups

• They build community. Many men have friends they can have a laugh with but not many they can be honest with. Men’s groups fill that gap.

• Research backs it up. Studies show that men who engage in group-based mental health or peer support see improvements in confidence, emotional regulation, and relationships.

• It’s not therapy — but it can be therapeutic. You don’t have to be “in counselling” to join. Just being around open, honest men can change your perspective on what strength really means.

• They break the isolation loop. When you hear another man talk about something you’ve been struggling with quietly, it’s like a switch flips — I’m not the only one.

• You get out what you put in. You don’t have to share everything straight away. Just showing up is the first win.

The first step is the hardest

If you’ve ever signed up for a men’s group and backed out last minute — you’re not alone. But that moment, right before you walk in (or log on), is where the real growth happens. That’s the point where you’re choosing courage over comfort.

No one expects you to have it all figured out. You just need to show up as you are. Because the truth is, men’s groups aren’t about fixing you — they’re about freeing you from doing it all alone.

So if you’ve been thinking about joining one, take that step. You don’t have to say much, you don’t have to prove anything — just turn up. You might be surprised at how much lighter life feels when you stop carrying it all by yourself.