Eight Things I Wish I Knew About Mental Health at 16

At 16, I didn’t feel confident — not really. I had a lot of anger I couldn’t explain, a lot of moods I didn’t understand, and a lot of pressure to act like everything was fine. I didn’t know how to talk about what was going on inside, or even who to talk to if I did.

But now, years down the line — after a career in personal training and now working as a counsellor — I look back and see things clearly. If I could speak to my younger self, or any lad around that age feeling like I did, here’s what I’d say:

1. You’re Not the Only One Feeling This Way

It might look like your mates have it all together — chilled, confident, nothing bothering them. But trust me, behind the surface, a lot of lads are struggling too. Feeling low, anxious, angry, or just off doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.

2. Anger Is Often a Sign You’re Struggling

I used to lose it over small stuff — short fuse, snapping, frustration building up like pressure in a bottle. I didn’t know it at the time, but anger was my body’s way of saying: “I’m not okay.” Most of the time, it wasn’t anger at all — it was stress, sadness, or not knowing where to put what I was feeling. If you’re always angry, don’t just blame yourself — ask what might be underneath it.

3. “I’m Fine” Doesn’t Always Mean You’re Fine — And That’s a Problem

“I’m fine” is probably the most common lie I hear in the counselling room — and I used to say it too. It becomes automatic. It keeps things simple. It stops awkward conversations. But it also stops real ones.

We say “I’m fine” because it feels safer. But if someone who actually cares — a mate, parent, teacher, coach — asks how you’re doing, try something different. You don’t have to spill everything. Just saying “Not great lately” or “It’s been tough” opens the door. Being real can feel weird at first, but it can also be the start of things getting better.

4. Talking Doesn’t Make You Weak — It’s a Power Move

For years I thought if I admitted I was struggling, I’d seem soft. But bottling it up just made things worse. Being able to say “I’m not okay” takes serious strength. You don’t have to explain it all. Just saying something is enough. The bravest thing you might ever do is talk — and that’s what can actually change things.

5. Exercise Was My Saving Grace

Ice hockey helped me massively. It gave me a release when I didn’t have the words. I could hit the ice hard, move fast, and feel in control for once. That physical outlet kept me grounded when everything else felt messy.

Later on, when I became a personal trainer, I saw how powerful movement can be for mental health. You don’t need to be an athlete. Go for a walk. Hit the gym. Kick a ball. Do press-ups in your bedroom. Just move. Your mind and body are connected, and when your body moves, your mind often starts to shift too.

6. Good Friends Make a Massive Difference

The lads I trusted helped me more than they know. Not the ones who told me to “get on with it” — but the ones who listened, who noticed when I wasn’t myself, who stuck around even when I didn’t say much.

If you’ve got a mate like that, hold onto them. And if you don’t right now — you will. Try to be that mate for someone else too.

7. Parents Can Be Annoying… But They Do Care

Let’s be honest — parents can get on your nerves. They might nag, say the wrong things, or not seem to “get it.” But underneath all that, most of them care deeply. I didn’t always want to talk to mine, but when I did, they surprised me. You don’t have to tell them everything, but if you’re struggling, reaching out might help more than you expect.

8. It Gets Better — But You’ve Got to Help It Along

I used to hope things would just magically improve one day. But the truth is, change comes from small steps: getting outside, training, eating better, sleeping properly, talking to someone.

Now, as a therapist, I work with lads who feel how I used to feel. And I see every day that things do get better — but only when you give yourself permission to do something different.

Final Thought

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck — angry, numb, confused, lost — I’ve been there. And I’ll say this clearly: you’re not weak, and you’re not broken. You’re a young man dealing with stuff you were never taught how to handle. But you can learn. You can change. And you don’t have to do it on your own.

Stop saying you’re fine when you’re not. Move your body. Talk to someone. Give yourself a chance. You’re stronger than you think — and you’ve got more support than you realise.